Soap Opera Uncensored: Issue 10 Read online

room next to my kids’ baseball trophies.

  Diane pretending to have a miscarriage in the ambulance with Victor was one of the best-acted scenes ever this past year. Who knew Diane was a great thespian, too! Are you submitting yourself for next year’s Emmy race? Methinks you should. Your two Lead Actress Emmys could use a Supporting Actress companion!

  Thank you. You know what? I want to say this delicately: it’s very difficult to win these awards — the stars have to align, etc — but having said that, there’s no competition anymore because there are hardly any shows left. That’s just my opinion.

  Never thought of it that way before! I was so happy when you won in 2007! It’s hard for a newcomer to break into this race, but you finally did. We first met at the CBS after party that year.

  I remember! On certain shows, there is a culture that shuts out deserving actors for various personal reasons or whatever. But I broke in when that all changed.

  You must be so happy for your partner in crime, Michael Park’s Broadway success!

  We still keep in touch. He’s one of my very best friends in the world — and that will never change. We shared a lot over the years. Have you seen him on stage?

  I’ve seen him perform at soap opera charity events. We were rather close when I lived in New York City — and he still has the best gay lisp I’ve ever heard!

  [Laughs] You know that feeling when you see someone doing what he or she is meant to be doing? I don’t mean to seem that dramatic, but it was so moving to see him do what he was meant to be doing. I think he’s so incredible. Broadway is very lucky to have him — and not vice versa. I would like to work with Michael again one day. In fact, I know we will as different characters. The great thing about being an actor is you can still act until you’re 105 years old.

  Knock on wood. Broadway cost us Park accepting his second Emmy Award this past year!

  He wasn’t going to put himself in [contention] this year. But I threw him in! I was poking around the reels when I saw that great episode — and I knew he’d not only be nominated but also win. I’m not taking credit for it, but I made sure he was in the running. Here’s a guy who only gets better and better with each year. He never phones it in. He becomes a better actor every day.

  Sounds like someone else I know! Finally, are Carly and Jack happy? Or are they breaking up and making up over and over again?! [Laughs]

  Oh, I think they’re probably fighting! [Laughs] But crazy making up! They will always be slightly volatile. I hope they never become sedate. They need to keep the fire burning.

  Maybe they’re living in a haunted house! Soap Opera Horror Story!

  2011 REWIND:

  The Worthy and The Worthless: Best and Worst of 2011

  And then there were four. The most disturbing year on record began with six soap operas but, as we find ourselves in the final stretch of 2011 (Thank God!), soap fans are bracing themselves for a daytime landscape populated by only B&B, DAYS, GH, and Y&R. If pundits are correct, and if ABC follows through their diabolical plan to eradicate the soap opera industry, we may have only three serials airing on daytime TV this time next year. Until then, Uncensored takes a look back at the best and worst of 2011 with a heavy heart, a sliver of hope, and endless pride of how fans stood up to save this iconic genre. Hear us roar, indeed!

 

  Best Soap Opera: One Life To Live, ABC

  Despite it cancellation this past April, the best soap opera on the dial proved with each airdate why it didn’t deserve to die an early death by delivering heartbreaking, romantic, witty, hilarious, engrossingly modern storylines which will never be forgotten. Exuberantly acted and passionately directed, when it comes down to the annals of soap opera history, One Life may just rank as the best serial ever.

  Worst Soap Opera: General Hospital, ABC

  Be careful for what you wish for! With the ouster of controversial head writer Bob Guza, ABC promoted scab writer, Garin Wolf, and fans were left screaming for Guza’s return when they had to deal with HIV-blood as a sensationalistic weapon, empty plot, vapid characters, and even darker storylines. Let’s hope the arrival of “Cartini” in 2012 will help resurrect the worst show on television and return it to its former glory. If there is still time, that is.

  Most Improved Soap: Days of our Lives, NBC

  Or soap comeback of the year: With Dena Higley’s seemingly endless reign of terror on NBC’s lone soap now over, a rock could have improved this show. However, the wise appointments of head writers Marlene McPherson and Darrell Ray Thomas Junior immediately brought DAYS back to its 1970s roots with topical storylines, smart dialogue, new sets, and fascinating characters. The DAYS reboot also lured back fan favourites like Jack, Marlena, Carrie, Austin and John. Welcome back, Salem!

  Most Disappointing Soap: The Young and the Restless, CBS

  Who’d have ever thunk DAYS and AMC would be more watchable than daytime’s crown jewel, Y&R? Well, it happened. While the show is seemingly improving of late, most of 2011 scared away a record number of viewers (almost one million fans to date) with an unhealthy amount of hair models, one-note villains, sophomoric murder mysteries, uninteresting Law & Order set-ups, more presumed-dead plot twists, and the absence of its greatest heroine, Melody Thomas Scott as Nikki Newman. Oh, and we had to deal with Sharon talking to a goat. Seriously.

  Funniest Soap: One Life To Live, ABC

  ABC’s top-rated soap could have easily won this category just for its hilarious satire of its own cancellation via Fraternity Row. But, truth be told, Llanview has been a riot fest all year long thanks to characters like David, Cutter, Dorian, Roxy, Victor and Todd. Ron Carlivati could easily write for Saturday Night Live as Silas Kain has suggested.

  Best Prime-Time Soap: Revenge, ABC

  It’s ironic ABC claims soap operas are no longer viable, but its breakout prime-time drama, Revenge, is as sudsy as it gets.

  Worst Prime-Time Soap: Brothers and Sisters, ABC

  What began as one of the best shows on TV quickly dissolved into an unwatchable, contrived mess. Was Brian Frons in charge of this show, too? Probably, because it was cancelled, too.

  Best Special Episode: Hold the Diploma/Vickerman premiere, One Life

  As you can probably tell, head writer Ron Carlivati will have a major task choosing just one episode to submit for Outstanding Writing at next year’s Daytime Emmy Awards. While we suggest the episode in which Roxy learns of her fave soap, Fraternity Row’s cancellation, Carlivati could easily win the premiere of David Vicker’s film premiere, which ended up a viewing party for Nate’s porn debut. Hell. Arious.

  Best Episode: Fraternity Row is cancelled, One Life

  It took balls for Carlivati to pay homage to the soap movement and the fans who are tirelessly fighting to save his soap. But the risk taker did it— with successful, entertaining results. Not only did Frat Row’s cancellation highlight One Life’s rich history (Megan starred on the show; Bo produced the soap-within-the-soap), it also satirized a contemporary issue dominating the headlines. Learning of Row’s cancellation via Soap Opera Weekly, Roxy’s scream was definitely heard around the world. And clearly, Frat Row doesn’t sell covers for Soaps In Depth, either.

  THE P&G SOAP KILLING AWARD: Brian Frons, ABC/Disney

  Frons had to top Barbara Bloom and P&G’s record of murdering two soaps in two years and he did: the former ABC executive assasinated two soaps in one day.

  BIGGEST REAL-LIFE HERO: Michael Muhney VS. NATAS

  It took a soap opera newcomer and prime-time actor to change The Daytime Emmy Awards’ antiquated nomination and voting system in about four months.

  Best Male Performances in a Storyline:

  Trevor St. John, One Life: Not even losing his signature role could prevent St. John from delivering yet another tour-de-force performance!

  Roger Howarth, One Life: We’re not in Oakdale anymore, kids! Oh, and that hot, pumping new body of his deserves its own Emmy.

  Anthony Geary, GH: As Luke faced
his first alcoholic intervention; Geary found himself earning what could be his seventh Emmy win.

  Jacob Young, AMC: During AMC’s last week, it was Young who stole the show.

  David Canary, AMC: It was sweet justice to be reminded that vets like David Canary still have it. When Adam learned Stuart was still alive, Canary proved why dual roles should only be trusted with extraordinary talent.

  Michael Muhney, Y&R: Crashing into Sharon’s funeral allowed Muhney to put every Y&R actor on notice: a new master actor has arrived. Call James Lipton!

  Best Female Performances in a Storyline:

  Melody Thomas Scott, Y&R: Being drunk never looked so fun or realistic. Hopefully, Scott’s intoxicating performance will net the star her first Emmy.

  Ilene Kristen, One Life: The people’s actress perfectly — and hilariously — echoed her fans’ anger and sadness over our soap’s cancellation. Kristen is a lock for a Best Supporting Actress Emmy!

  Florencia Lozano, One Life: Cradling a dying Victor in her arms, Tea’s broken heart mirrored fans own heartbreak over the loss of Trevor St. John.

  Kimberly McCullough, GH: Turning crap into gold: Despite one offensive storyline after another, McCullough’s bridge confession to Stone had everyone watching ugly crying.

  Debbi Morgan, AMC: Learning her newborn had actually died and shocked over Jesse’s betrayal