Soap Opera Uncensored: ISSUE 5 (UPDATED) Read online

ERA: UNCENSORED

  Volume 1, Issue 5

  BY NELSON BRANCO

  Copyright 2011 Nelson Branco

  INSIDE: UPDATE — Why Brandon Buddy Had To Leave One Life! His Arrest —And Day in Court! Manager: Why Judith Light Can’t Return to One Life! The Latest on Robin Strasser! One Life: Agnes Nixon hired as head writer! Exclusive — Dirty Soap’s Brandon Beemer on Fary, Nadia and B&B! Plus: Which Hot B&B Story Is CBS Kibosh-ing? Is Brian Frons An Evil Genius? Inside Investigation: Is Disney Selling ABC? Plus: GH Axed in May, Susan Batten, Brandon Buddy and Jessica Tuck Returning to One Life! Plus: Brian Kerwin Hits Llanview! Is Crystal Chappell next as Maggie Carpenter? How about Kish? Also: Are Cutter and Kim Max Holden’s twins? Source: Did Robin Strasser Decline To Come Back To One Life Before The Finale? One Life To Continue Filming at ABC Studios Post-Broadcast? Who’s Coming Back to DAYS Now? Will Franco Rape Sam on GH? Why B&B’s Jacob Young Only Signed a six-Month Contract! AMC’s Darnell Williams Exclusive: “I Haven’t Signed with Prospect!” Kim Zimmer on Rosie! Which Actor Was On A Bender? Last week’s Soap Reviews; Next Week’s Preview Cheat Sheet! And every week: Unbelievable Blind Items!

 

  UNCENSORED MASTHEAD:

  FOUNDER/EDITOR: Nelson Branco

  EDITOR AT LARGE: Denette Wilford

  AMC CONTRIBUTOR: Shawn Brady

  ROVING REPORTER: Ruby Soho

  EDITORIAL FLUFFER: Trevor St. John

  LETTER FROM THE FOUNDER/EDITOR:

  Uncensored, Soap-style!

   

  Follow Soap Opera Uncensored at: @nelliebranco or @SoapUncensored

  UNCENSORED QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

  “What if you could do a soap opera with no actors and no writers?”

  —Creator Lauren Corrao on the genesis of Real World

  Translation: Someone did — and it was called Passions!

  "I am thrilled to bring this stellar team of experts to The Revolution. I am confident that the combination of these co-hosts, along with our producing partners at 3 Ball Productions/Eyeworks USA who specialize in lifestyle transformations, will resonate with our viewers."

  —ABC Daytime Chief Brian Frons on One Life’s “replacement”

  Translation: Well, the three viewers we’ll have left.

  “I'm not talking about cancellation, folks, I'm talking about CORPORATE FATCATS depriving me of incredible TV.”

  —Lost co-creator and executive producer Damon Lindelof in a tweet Tuesday

  Translation: Yes, I mean you ABC!

  COVER STORY:

  Beemer Guzzling: Dirty Soap’s Brandon on Nadia, Fary, and B&B!

  Gulp: He’s one of the most beautiful men — inside and out — on the planet. Heck, even TV Guide named him 2010’s Sexiest Man Alive (https://tvguide.ca/Soaps/Features/Articles/100317_2010_sexiest_man_alive_NB.htm), written by yours truly. But the B&B hunk’s greatest attribute is his patience (and great taste in women), loyalty, kindness and humour. Oh, and his package isn’t so bad, either! But seriously, “ Brandy Beemo” is one of my favourite people on earth. Well, when he’s not being obsessive-compulsive about dirty dishes in the sink, that is. (Scoop: Beemer’s a bit OCD.)

  After exclusively interviewing his partner, Nadia Bjorlin, and former DAYS and current Dirty co-star, Farah Fath, these past few weeks, Uncensored thought it was high time we spoke to the man everyone has a crush on: Mr. Brandon Beemer. Well everyone, with the possible exception of his future mother-in-law Fary Bjorlin (even though we suspect she loves him deep down). Move over, Kardashians! Now this would be a hot-ticket wedding and/or engagement party invite to accept! And one that will no doubt last.

  Despite hesitations to join a reality series, the experience has “been pretty great,” admits the diehard Ducks fan. “We took a chance. We decided to go outside our comfort zone and give it a go. It’s been fun, actually! We knew the fans would love it. Hopefully, the fans are loving it. And hopefully, people who don’t watch soaps are loving it. All in all, it’s been a great experience. When you start getting used to the cameras not being there, that’s when being on a reality show is therapeutic. When you watch the show, you learn a lot about yourself and everyone around you.”

  Are they finished taping the first season yet? After all, reports of the first season’s end date keeps being extended. “We have two more days this coming week,” he reports. Some fans are hoping, due to the increasing social media popularity of the show, that E! will extend the series to more than eight episodes. Any truth to that? “This season will definitely end at eight,” he answers. “In a couple of months, we will find out if it’s picked up for a second season. I hope we are renewed because it’s a great show. The feedback has been amazing. The show needs to grow and people need to keep tuning in and watching.”

  In last week’s interview with Fath, Uncensored learned she and J-P Lavoisier were contractually obligated to participate in season two if it gets picked up. Does that apply to Brandon and Nadia, too? “Yes,” he says. “Everyone is obligated, as far as I know. As to whether or not producers decide to bring on new people next season, that’s up in the air. They’re allowed to change the cast, but as far as I know, Nadia and I are contractually obligated to do season two.”

  And Fary, too, no doubt (Memo to Fary: get an agent, STAT).

  What’s surprised Beemer the most? He perfectly articulates, “It’s therapeutic. It’s a crash course in therapy. I can’t even say I’m forced to look in the mirror because it’s more than that. You watch everything you say and do on TV and those around you… [so subsequently,] you see yourself in a way you could never see yourself… and you’re doing so in front of the world. You have to address issues in your life that you would normally avoid, but because it’s airing in front of the world, you have to address them immediately instead of ignoring them. It allows you to open up… and that’s what reality is all about.”

  See, Fary, he’s just not a pretty face with fierce abs! That’s one of the most astute observations about reality TV I’ve ever heard.

  “For example,” Beemer continues, “my issues with Fary have been there for a long time, but now that it’s out there, I am forced to deal with it before it continues to fester.”

  Still, Beemer admits that Fary’s sometimes-cruel attacks on his character and intentions were painful to watch. “It’s still painful, to be honest,” he sighs. “To watch something like that scene where [Fary was jokingly wielding a knife at Nadia when discussing our relationship], especially when I had no idea that encounter actually happened… well, it’s one of those rare situations where you get to actually see and hear what people say behind your back. You’re like, ‘Really; you’re going to say that behind my back? Wow!’ It’s hard… I know Nadia’s mother doesn’t know or understand anything about our relationship or know anything about me personally. She’s never taken the time to ever want to get to know me. That’s been an issue… and one of the reasons why we haven’t gotten to know each other. Her old-school Persian mentality is a crutch because it’s so much easier to make assumptions and listen to rumours than get to know me or us.”

  In a way, Mama Fary did Beemer a favour because she created a Team Beemer sentiment online. Yes, he was touched. Team Bradia all the way. “I’m more than touched by the support,” he says. “But I also think a lot of people understand where Fary is coming from, too. Especially [the Persian community]. Fary’s a protective mother, albeit an overprotective one, but at the end of the day, we can all take things too far. I’m glad the fans see that and don’t judge me because of the way she treats me — or what she says about me. It’s a never-ending and losing battle because you can never control somebody or make someone th
ink things they don’t want to. Simply, you can’t make people see things that they don’t want to see. That’s hard to deal with, yes.”

  What’s been the reaction from Beemer’s family? “My family is happy that Dirty is airing so they can see me more often and so personally because they live so far away. Yes, they visit — but this is such a different, intimate experience than they’ve ever been used to. They question why Nadia’s mom treats me the way she does. I’ve told them stuff, but they’re like, ‘You never said it was that bad.’ My objective is to make everyone happy but at the end of the day, my sole focus is to ensure that Nadia and I are happy, because my number-one priority is Nadia.”

  Does Beemer hope his Dirty notoriety increases his screen time on B&B? Anyone who watches the super-popular Owen and Jackie knows that Beemer and his co-star Lesley-Anne Down are slowly — and frustratingly — simmering on the back burner. “I hope so,” he wishes. “I know Brad Bell [B&B’s executive producer and head writer] loves the show and watches. It’d be cool if Jackie and Owen did their own reality show.”

  I’d say. The Real Cougar Town, indeed!

  For more on Beemer, Nadia; Fary; the art of a good edit; the reaction from the soap world; the sudden invites to parties; critical/cynical fan bases changing their tune about Bradia; if it was really cold on the set of his runway modeling gig (teehee); and his sweet bromance with J-P Lavoisier; tune in next week!

  THE EDGE OF SOAP:

  Suds Investigation: Couric vs. Port Charles! Is ABC axing GH by June? Will Katie begin airing early for election season? Is Disney preparing to sell off ABC?

  Here we go again, soapers: Last week, the Internet was set ablaze with rumours that ABC affiliates were dropping GH as of June 2012 after several resourceful fans called their local stations to find out if the venerable sudser would still be on the network schedule come this September. This comes on the heels of news that GH’s timeslot replacement, Katie, was sold in over 60 per cent of the largest markets in America.

  Naturally, an ABC spin minion (spinion?) immediately denied rumours to Soaps In Depth, stating that GH will not be absent from the schedules of some affiliates this summer, and that those stations have not