Soap Opera Uncensored: Issue 21 Read online

SOAP OPERA UNCENSORED

  Volume 02, Issue 11 (No. 21)

  BY NELSON BRANCO

  Copyright 2012 Nelson Branco

  INSIDE — Sexiest MILF Alive: Exclusive Interview with Daytime’s Best Actress Y&R’s Michelle Stafford! Exclusive: NIGHT SHIFT Writer Sri Rao Comments On Cartini’s GH! Source: Rick Hearst Headed Back to GH! Lynn Herring Visiting, too? Is Y&R’s Michael Muhney Crossing Over to B&B? Also: NASHVILLE’s Jonathan Jackson In Talks With GH To Return! Warning: Spoilers Inside! Exclusive: Sri Rao on Cartini’s GH! Peter Reckell Off DAYS! Lauralee Bell Back on Y&R? Also: Are Chance and Ronan Next? GH’s Nathan Parsons: Is Ethan Luke’s Son?! Kassie De Paiva Turns Down B&B! Exclusive: Martha Byrne on Jon Hensley’s B&B Gig! Are ONE LIFE’s John and Natalie Married? Inside Report: Did ABC Sabotage GH’s Ratings Last Week With A Massive DVR Blackout? Plus: Last Week's Reviews, Unbelievable Blind Items, and Next Week's Cheat Sheet!

  UNCENSORED MASTHEAD:

  FOUNDER/EDITOR: Nelson Branco

  EDITOR AT LARGE: Denette Wilford

  CONTRIBUTOR: Flo DiBona

  Follow Soap Opera Uncensored at: @nelliebranco or @SoapUncensored

  NOTE FROM EDITOR/FOUNDER:

  You asked — and it’s happening. For more information on subscribing to daytime’s first weekly e-zine SOAP OPERA UNCENSORED, email [email protected]

  6 months: $19.99 (*normally $64.74)

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  *Based on $2.49 issue price

  PRE-ORDER BETWEEN HEAVEN & HELL: A ONE LIFE TO LIVE TRIBUTE

  Hi, loyal soaper!

  UNCENSORED QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

  "I know there was a Facebook page dedicated to firing me. I don't live in a bubble. I know all of that's there, and it can be upsetting. Bill was so focused and so believed in his vision...I think even he would have been rocked by the message boards."

  ––Y&R’s Maria Arena Bell in SOAPS IN DEPTH

  Translation: Wait — why do you think no one is calling for Brad Bell’s firing? Hmmm… But Bill would’ve loved SOAP OPERA UNCENSORED.

 

  "Ethan finally gets a girlfriend and she's killed. When I first started talking about leaving, it had always been in the back of my mind that my contract was coming up. Then I found out that Garin [Wolf, former head writer] was going to be asked to step down. It was frustrating because he was the first person who wrote a great story for this character. It was supposed to continue on for months. They had Alyshia [Oschse, ex-Cassandra/Irina] on a potential five-year contract.”

  –– GH’s Nathan Parsons on former head writer Garin Wolf in SOD

  Translation: Garin gave me hand jobs during breaks.

  “When I did B&B, the brass was so worried about my memory at 94, there were cue cards on the ceiling, on the floor, in the flowers and on the walls. The dear people at B&B did everything to make me look good."

  ––Iconic comedian Phyllis Diller on her B&B return

  Translation: I borrowed Darlene Conley’s cue cards.

  “I think I'm Stefano's next hit for sure! Yikes....

  –– Lisa Rinna responds after making a comment that her co-star Joe Mascolo is the worst DAYS actor on WATCH WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

  Translation: PR, baby; PR, baby!

  “Lisa saying that [REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS’] Taylor should have her lips reduced and calling me the worst actor on DAYS is sort of like the pot calling the kettle black.”

  —DAYS thespian Joe Mascolo responding to Rinna’s comments to SOAP OPERA DIGEST

  Translation: Bitch is going to get a brain chip implanted in those inflated lips!

  “My fingers. Yes, my fingers are on my right hand.”

  —DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES’ creator Marc Cherry defending himself in court against Nicollette Sheridan’s allegations that he physically attacked the star before firing her

  Translation: Yep, that’s all it takes for ABC to hire you to write a soap!

  COVER STORY

  SEXIEST MILF ALIVE

  Exclusive Interview With Soaps’ Best Actress: Y&R’s Michelle Stafford

  Mirror, mirror on the wall — who is the greatest actress currently working in soaps of them all?

  Flannery? Chappell? Grahn? Morgan? Thomas Scott? Muhney?

  Nope, the answer is Y&R’s incomparable Michelle Stafford.

  In the pantheon of mind-blowing acting talent, each episode Michelle Stafford cements her place in the history books — and her status as the best daytime TV actress currently airing. She’s also reminding daytime why she should have more than two Daytime Emmys on her mantle. After all, as Christian Le Blanc likes to say, ten is more than two. It’s simple mathematics.

  Since UNCENSORED recently interviewed all of La Staffy’s co-stars, I thought it was high time to catch up with the two-time Emmy winner. After all, our yearly interviews are always a highlight. Having known the flamed-haired sex symbol since 1997, we go way back (but we still look fabulous). Through the glory days of soaps to the end days to the up and downs of our personal lives (read boyfriends), we’ve somehow managed to survive life and soap with aplomb. Enjoy part one of our intimate, funny interview.

  I just spoke to Nancy Lee Grahn earlier today – so I’m having quite the divalicious day! Two of the best actresses ever!

  Do you read Nancy Lee Grahn’s Twitter feed?

  Yes, I love it!

  Isn’t it hilarious?

  Yep! When I was setting up our interview, I pleaded with Nancy to drink at least two glasses of wine before we spoke but no luck! D’oh!

  That’s funny because I saw her the other day, and I said, “This Twitter persona you’ve created is like this other Nancy. She’s said, “I know.”

  I know!

  It’s really not Nancy. You create these Twitter personas. I’m much more sarcastic than I am in real life.

  I chuckle when fans think they know an actor intimately — or anyone for that matter without ever having met them —because they follow the person on Twitter. You can’t possibly begin to understand the complex human soul or mind of someone via Twitter. Anyone who thinks that is a delusional fanatic. However, I do think you can get a sense of someone’s personality on Twitter. In DETAILS MAGAZINE, Ashton Kutcher said, “if you’re an asshole in real life, you’ll probably be an asshole on Twitter!” Are you having fun on Twitter? You closed your original account in 2010 but then came roaring back last year.

  At first, it was too much for me. I really didn’t get the fun of it. I didn’t get it, so I closed down my first account. Also, that was around the time “The Veg” was born. “The Veg” being my daughter [Natalia Scout]. [Laughs]

  So we’re not calling her “The Head” anymore?

  Yeah. At first, she was “Squish.” Then, she was “Squishy Head;” and later, variations of “Head.” Like “Avocado Head.” And then we called her, “The Head.” From “Vegetable Head” it morphed into “The Veg.” It’s weird but I don’t care.

  I think if you love someone you create loving nicknames for him or her.

  Of course!

  Everyone raves that you’re a great mother. You seem happy.

  Thank you. Nadia Bjorlin loves “The Veg.” The other night out, Brandon Beemer was walking with “The Veg,” too.

  Those two need to have kids, STAT! Do you want more kids?

  I would love to have more but I’m an old bag, baby! I don’t know, because my circumstances preclude me from having more, which breaks my heart.

  I’m proud that you do this on your own as a single working mother.

  If I was going to have another child, I need a husband. I can’t be a full-time working woman with two little babies – unless I’m super rich, which
I’m not; or I have a husband to share the responsibilities. Sometimes you have to tell yourself, “Yes, in theory, having more kids is beautiful but the reality is one person can only do so much.” I would love it, yes, but now I just have to find husband.

  Let’s go cruising together. I’ll take the straight guys; you hit on the gay men! [Laughs] Are you dating? Is it harder with a kid?

  During the time I was trying to make [Natalia] be, I wasn’t really dating, especially with those IVF drugs! The last thing you want is a penis! It’s the last thing you want!

  [Laughs]

  Anyone who has done IVF knows what I’m talking about. It totally screws with your body and head. Those drugs are horrible and they kill your sex drive. When my surrogate and I finally got pregnant, I had to take