Soap Opera Uncensored — Issue 18 Read online

SOAP OPERA: UNCENSORED

  Volume 02, Issue 08 (No. 18)

  BY NELSON BRANCO

  Copyright 2012 Nelson Branco

  INSIDE — 2012’s SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE: VENICE’s Nadia Bjorlin! Exclusive Interview: Why She Turned Down DAYS; Her New CSI Role; VENICE Sex Scene Secrets; And Mama Fary! Source: ABC Refused To Pay For AMC and GH’s WGA Table! More Chaos Behind The Scenes at GH? Also: Are GH’s Jason and Franco Twins? Spoiler: Is Robin Really Dead? DAYS: Will Kisses a Boy; Ejami Exposed! Plus: Will John and Hope Kiss? Why Did Andrea Evans Not Submit Herself For Emmy Consideration? Exclusive: Pre, Pre-Noms Revealed — Plus, Supporting Actress and Lead Actor Emmy Reel Deets! Lauralee Bell’s Prime-Time Gig! GH’s Jenn Lilley Staying On! Bren Foster Out At DAYS! Exclusive Interview: Cameron Mathison Hosts Oscar Special! DAYS Casts Celeste’s Son! Brittany Underwood’s New Soap Role! GH Stars Mourns Wife’s Death! Plus: Last Week's Reviews, Unbelievable Blind Items, and Next Week's Cheat Sheet!

  UNCENSORED MASTHEAD:

  FOUNDER/EDITOR: Nelson Branco

  EDITOR AT LARGE: Denette Wilford

  Follow Soap Opera Uncensored at: @nelliebranco or @SoapUncensored

  NOTE FROM EDITOR/FOUNDER:

  You asked — and it’s happening. For more information on subscribing to daytime’s first weekly e-zine Soap Opera Uncensored, email soapuncensored@yahoo.com

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  PRE-ORDER BETWEEN HEAVEN & HELL: A ONE LIFE TO LIVE TRIBUTE

  Hi, loyal soaper!

  For a special rate on next week’s ONE LIFE TO LIVE tribute e-book, BETWEEN HEAVEN AND HELL, head over to PAYPAL and submit a $6.99 CAD payment (originally $9.99) to soapuncensored@yahoo.com (Nelson Branco)... and you'll receive the highly anticipated book first (with over 100K words of flashbacks, interviews, top-ten lists, and history!). Click on “Send Money” for “Friends/Family,” and follow the instructions. If you have any problems or questions, please email soapuncensored@yahoo.com.

  UNCENSORED QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

  “He's like an ex-Marine drill sergeant who bullies his patients into getting better. We'll be chipping away the layers to find out why. There's something pretty big lurking beneath the surface, though I don't yet know what that is. [Laughs] I don't even know Sarge's real name but I do know he's an a**hole.”

  —Y&R’s Darnell Williams to TV GUIDE MAGAZINE on his new role

  Translation: I modeled Sarge after my last boss.

  “I try not to have any expectations.”

  —Williams in the same interview

  Translation: Especially on Y&R!

  “It has me reliving my youth on Y&R. I hate to say it but I looked exactly like that when I went to the SOAP OPERA DIGEST AWARDS in 1988!”

  --Lauralee Bell to TV GUIDE MAGAZINE on her CASTLE character’s DYNASTY garb

  Translation: The Bells don’t crack, bitches!

  “[Head writer Ron Carlivati] is a delightful man. He’s very respectful of a character’s integrity and believes there is no point in bringing Holly back if she’s unrecognizable. He’s very smart, and he gets it, so I thanked him profusely for what my experience has been in his short time there, but my goodness, I felt the difference.”

  --Emma Samms on the new GH team in SOAP OPERA DIGEST

  Translation: Fuck Bob Guza and JFP!

  “[Executive producer Frank Valentini] is very hands on. He’s on the floor watching you. He cares about every aspect of the show, and I think that makes for a much more cohesive, believable product. I was very impressed. It was a bit like the original Gloria Monty days.”

  --Samms continues in DIGEST

  Translation: And if anyone can save us from cancellation, it’s Valentini!

  “I think it became blatantly obvious that Brian Frons had no business with his track record, especially after SANTA BARBARA, being anywhere near that position.”

  --Michael E. Knight in DIGEST

  Translation: I know a position he’d be suited for.

  THIS JUST IN

  NAACP IMAGE Winner Announced!

  It’s official: This year is the worst Black History Month ever! Winning Best Actress in a Daytime Drama was Y&R’s Tatyanna Ali, who has taken home the “bronze.”

  COVER STORY

  SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE — 2012: NADIA BJORLIN

  In her second consecutive honour, Nadia Bjorlin proves no one is more beautiful, sexier, funnier, more talented, or naughtier than the Swedish Goddess herself— other than her mother-from-hell-and-heaven, Fary, of course. Plus: Nadia on her CSI role, biatches!

  For the first time in history, Nadia Bjorlin is the only actor to win this honour two years in a row. (Crystal Chappell and Jessica Leccia book-ended their Sexiest Couple Alive Awards, however, in 2009 and 2010). And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why or argue with the decision. Even Stevie Wonder gets it.

  If the old adage is true — that you look the way you feel — then former DAYS and VENICE sex siren and beauty Nadia Bjorlin is feeling pretty purr-fect. Even if she is freelancing that Godly face, body and laugh these days.

  With her sinful body, soulful eyes, trademark flowing locks, infectious laugh, unflappable wit, and flawless olive complexion, UNCENSORED naming Bjorlin 2012’s Sexiest Woman Alive is a no-brainer. And our first Sexiest Woman Alive Crystal Chappell, Bjorlin’s former DAYS co-star and VENICE boss, agrees, telling us, “What’s truly beautiful about Nadia is her soul.” Hey, her body isn’t so bad, either.

  What made Bjorlin even more beautiful is the fact that the goddess delivered the performance of her career this past year as boozing journalist Lara on VENICE, and turned shit into gold during Chloe’s train-wreck of a story on DAYS. And showed grace under pressure when DAYS fired the fan fave because of their screw-up. Add in her infectious turn as her lovable and hilarious self on DIRTY SOAP (the only reason to tune into the short-lived but highly entertaining E! series), and you’ve got one smoldering excuse to talk to La Bjorlin (like, I need one). It’s too bad about her ugly and fat boyfriend Brandon Beemer.

  UNCENSORED literally just spoke to Bjorlin minutes ago as she just wrapped her first day on CSI… and here’s the juice. Olives sold separately. The rest of the interview will run next week, because just like La Bjorlin, we like a good tease.

  Congratulations on booking CSI!

  It feels nice to be working again!

  Brandon Beemer was on CSI, too (the Miami edition), so now you guys can cross that off your collective bucket list!

  Exactly!

  Who do you play?

  I’m not allowed to say, really, but I don’t die! I’m a guest star. I’m a suspect or something. My character is a gold digger. I’m excited to be on the show, though. My first day I spent working with the talented Eric Szmanda. I'll let you know when it airs!

  Oh, God — DAYS is typecasting you now. Let me guess – your character is a suicidal hooker, too!

  [Laughs] Exactly... those bastards! [Joking] But it’s not that much of a stretch!

  Why didn’t you return to DAYS? SOAP OPERA DIGEST basically announced it as fact a month ago; but UNCENSORED knew better.

  [Pauses and sighs]I didn’t feel the timing was right this time around. Obviously, I love those people there, and I had a lot of great years there —  and I will always love DAYS forever and always — but the offer… well, it wasn’t very enticing. The last run on DAYS, well, it left a bad taste in my mouth… so, promises don’t mean much to me anymore, whether it’s storyline or workload. And that’s not a comment about the show or I; that’s just a fact about the business right now. It didn�
�t feel right in my heart, so I had to decline. I don’t have an ego as a person or an actor — I’m a team player; you know that; everyone knows that — but I am not naïve, either. I would have loved to come back, for sure, but not this way. I’ve said it before and I will say it again — DAYS will always be my home.

  Concur, but sometimes you can’t go back home again. It’s pilot season — and I think you made the right decision. Loved you in VENICE again this season. You really are a scene-stealer! What was it like going down on Jessica Leccia?

  [Laughs] Delicious, baby! It definitely was more hardcore this season, pun intended! [Laughs] We were shooting twice the amount of material in the same timeframe [as previous seasons]. It felt like there was more pressure this time around. But, I think, I can speak for all of us, when I say, we’re all grateful for our daytime training to get us all through it relatively easy.

  As for the sex scenes, I would have been a lot more intimidated