SOAP OPERA UNCENSORED: ISSUE 9 Read online

SOAP OPERA UNCENSORED

  Volume 01, Issue 09

  BY NELSON BRANCO

  Copyright 2011 Nelson Branco

  INSIDE — Special Issue: 2011’s Entertainers of the Year! Susan Lucci! Trevor St. John! Roger Howarth! JR Martinez! DAYS' New Head Writers! Agnes Nixon! Lorraine Broderick! The Cast of Dirty Soap (Mama Bjorlin, too)! Rebecca Herbst! Michael Muhney! Melody Thomas Scott! Catherine Hickland! Chandler Massey! And The Number One Winner; Plus More Sweet Surprises! Exclusive Interview: One Life’s Andrea Evans on the Comeback of the Year, The Infamous Wig, Her Victory Over Breast Cancer, Little David Vickers, Brian Frons, Prospect Park, Tina’s Growth, and Returning to B&B! 2011’s Hall of Shame! Will Crystal Chappell Join GH? Shocker: Y&R’s Victor marries Sharon! Sean Kanan, Jeff Branson out! Ilene Kristen books Law & Order! Hillary B. Smith’s ABC Punishment! GH’s Lulu and Dante wed! Plus: Finola Hughes Returns! More One Life Comebacks: Barbara Rhoades and Lea De Laria! Ellen Holly Pulls a Victoria Rowell! Next Week’s Preview Cheat Sheet! And every week: Unbelievable Blind Items!

  UNCENSORED MASTHEAD:

  FOUNDER/EDITOR: Nelson Branco

  EDITOR AT LARGE: Denette Wilford

  Follow Soap Opera Uncensored at: @nelliebranco or @SoapUncensored

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  UNCENSORED QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

  “With One Live to Live going into the history books, frozen in time, I write to correct the record. Fans who inquire are told that Lillian Hayman, the actress who played my mother, and I, had left the show in 1985 ‘to go on to greener fields.’ Not so. We had been terminated… in secrecy… and with gratuitous brutality. Our gothic fairy tale is best told from the beginning...”

  —Former One Life star Ellen Holly over exaggerates her firing on her new website, blackstarimploding.com

  Translation: I’m Victoria Rowell’s long-lost mother.

  “I feel empathy and sympathy for them for the fact that something they were so attached to is no longer going to be there. I think we're very aware that a lot of those people will not have an open mind in terms of considering The Revolution or The Chew as shows they might be interested in watching.”

  —Revolution expert Dr. Jennifer Ashton to Zap2It.com comments on One Life fans who are grieving their canceled soap, which is being replaced by her lame weight-loss show

  Translation: Soap fans have taste.

  "I would say the same thing to them as I say to my patients in my office ... understand that there are multiple options available to you. It's a free country, and you don't have to do anything, but I think our show offers so much that some people might actually be surprised. Nothing is ever going to replace what One Life to Live and All My Children meant to people over decades, but this isn't really meant to replace that. It's kind of apples and oranges."

  —Dr. Ashton continues to stick her foot in her mouth

  Translation: Soap fans are fat! And although no one asked me for my advice, I’ll give it to you anyway.

  “We’ve had, certainly, a roller coaster on the show. I’m the first one to admit that. And it’s for all kinds of different reasons. But a lot of it has to do with timing and putting creative teams together.”

  —Executive hack Julie Hanan Carruthers in Soap Opera Digest’s special tribute issue to the now-defunct AMC

  Translation: Hiring me was ABC’s first mistake.

  “Some of the emails that I read, they truly go into the heart and soul of the character, so whether or not we can accommodate the viewers’ wishes or their complaints, it’s not going on deaf ears, because the commitment to the honesty of who the characters they love are comes through and it makes us more responsible. I respect the viewers’ opinions and we do our best to honour them every day when we deliver the show.”

  —Carruthers continues to spin in the same special issue

  Translation: Unopened fan letters make awesome kindling.

  “I did speak to Frank last week ...and asked him, 'should I continue to encourage them (fans), or am I just wasting my time and theirs? And he said, 'No, Tonja, there are still people out there who are trying to put a deal together. Keep the... people writing in, keep the people saying they'll support the show.' I said, 'Well, I don't want to feel like a fool, and feel like I'm wasting everybody's time and energy and effort.' And he said, 'No, continue to do it.' If it works, it works - and if it doesn't, we can't say we didn't try."

  —One Life’s Tonja Walker on her Blog Talk radio show

  Translation: I’ll show Roxy Balsom how it’s done! Something amazing this way comes…

  "I am so thrilled to be back and excited to be acting again. I have done reality shows, talk shows and I thought, what a great way to come back and play a character that I love to play so much. Feels very full circle — like a new old chapter.”

  —Lisa Rinna confirmed her DAYS return next year to the Huffington Post.

  Translation: No one will hire me.

  "I hope everyone is having a great holiday season w/the ones they love...fingers crossed you'll see more of me after the New Year!”

  —Recovering Kirsten Storms about reclaiming her GH role in a rare tweet

  Translation: If this Blond Bot recast would ever stop talking, I may be able to slip into Maxie’s stilettos once again! Well, if GH is still around next year, that is! Hook me up, Cartini!

  “Well it's just a two weeks before Xmas and the [the powers that be] have just let me know that I will be gone from [Genoa City] in five more shows. Merry Xmas. Not sure what the future has in store for me but as long as I have Michele and my family I'm ok. Playing the ‘villain’ is not easy. Supposedly I will be coming back. Let's hope soaps still around then. Guess I can finish my next book.”

  —Sean Kanan on his impending Y&R exit (he’s since tweeted he’ll be back this spring)

  Translation: My new book is called: How To Fix Y&R! Here I come, B&B!

  AWARDS SHOW CENTRAL:

  3rd Annual Indie Awards ready to rewind, pause, and play!

  It’s a new dawn for soap operas. The kids over at We Love Soaps are gearing up for the highly anticipated Indie Soap Awards. Here's a rundown of the key dates:

  December 19

  Nominations announced at 7 p.m. ET

  January 9

  Deadline for nominees and other shows to submit clips for our video montages

  February 13

  Fans Choice Award voting ends at 11:59 p.m. ET

  February 21

  3rd Annual Indie Soap Awards Ceremony at New World Stages in New York City

  Stay tuned for a lot more details coming soon!

  COVER STORY:

  MY MONTH WITH ANDREA

  Thanks to her triumphant return, Comeback of the Year, Andrea Evans, finally reclaimed what is rightfully hers — and reminded everyone why she’s the biggest star of ‘em all!

  The late, great Bette Davis once said, “Without wonder and insight, acting is just a business. With it, it becomes creation. Acting should be bigger than life. Scripts should be bigger than life. It should all be bigger than life.”

  The two-time Oscar winner could have easily been talking about Andrea Evans, my favourite soap actress of all time.

  Naming Evans comeback of the year was a no-brainer. Anyone who saw the Aurora, Illinois native reclaim — and for the first time, reinvent — her signature role as Tina Lord Roberts last month knows that One Li
fe penned the superstar one of the most perfect returns and end stories any actress and character have been lucky to play in front of millions of viewers on daytime television.

  What a difference three years makes! After her controversial return in 2008, many were fearful head writer Ron Carlivati would screw up what could quite possibly be the last chance for Evans to put on Tina’s trademark pumps and pout since the venerable sudser is leaving broadcast television for good on Friday, Jan. 13, 2012.

  Luckily, our fears were unfounded. Evans effortlessly reminded this soap fan of the days when he was glued to his TV screen back in the mid-1980s desperate to see his favourite Goddess love, seduce, love, and atone for her latest scandal. It was the most cathartic way to say goodbye to my all-time favourite show, actress, and character. And it almost didn’t happen. Evans was stealing scenes on B&B as Tawny Moore — and was battling stage-one breast cancer. But if you know anything about Evans’ remarkable life and career, you know nothing