Soap Opera: Uncensored Issue 3 Read online

winner — Crystal Chappell’s exit. The lesson here? Hey, if you’re going to be on the frontlines of war — make sure the Broe/Danloe/Bradia fans have your back! “I’m completely flattered at how passionate the fans were — and still are — about me leaving. The fact that, despite Chloe becoming a drunk and a hooker, the fans still stuck by her loyally to the very end amazes me and means so much to me. Chloe became so beaten down and pathetic… it was hard to play her this past year and connect with the character. She was whiny, needy, insecure and desperate… so much so that I didn’t recognize her anymore there for a while. Chloe stopped being fun. She was sassy and cynical when she returned to Salem this last time, which inspired me because I could add a little bit more of myself into her, but that didn’t last long due to the writers’ strike.”

  And it all went downhill after that. (Though Bjorlin was heartbreaking during Chloe’s suicide attempt and final scenes on DAYS; In fact, Soap Opera Weekly gave her the coveted Performer of the Week in its newest issue — and I can tell you it was a hard to choose that week, acting-wise).

  Luckily for us Bjorlin’s exit was captured on Dirty Soap — which offered fans, naysayers, and TV executives a rare glimpse into what it’s like to be fired from a soap. “Dirty started shooting me as I was leaving DAYS, so it was hard for me to be so vulnerable right off the start because it was such an emotional time for me. It was really sad, but at the same time, I’m really glad I have a video diary documenting my last week and day on DAYS. It was kind of nice. In that aspect, I’m really enjoying Dirty.”

  The big question then becomes: Would Nadia return to DAYS should they ever get another clue? “I don’t know,” she answers. “In this business, you have to go with the flow. You have to move forward — or you’ll drive yourself crazy. I will consider it when — and if — the opportunity presents itself. I always say, ‘Never say never.’ When I left before, I never said, ‘Oh, I’ll be back;’ it just happened at the right time when I finally returned. [My comeback] felt organic and good, which is why I did it. If it happens again, I want it to feel right. And the circumstances have to be right. But I’m not thinking about it. Hello: I’d drive myself nuts if I did that. But listening to my friends on DAYS talk about the show does make me a little envious, I will admit. DAYS is a very magical place. It’s a very unique and special environment. People who come on to the show from other soaps always remark about DAYS’s family-atmosphere feel. The great thing is that you can’t break that bond, which is why I still think I’m a part of the show, even though I don’t work there anymore!”

  The Nad-ster will always be a part of Salem. At one point, Bjorlin was the biggest star on the show opposite Kyle Lowder. Do your research, hacks!

  Bjorlin laughs out loud when I reveal that Chloe is only being admitted to Chicago’s Women’s Hospital to get her elastic and well-worn vagina re-sewn! “Exactly,” screams Nadia. “She needed major recovery after all that pounding in Salem.”

  And it didn’t even involve Brady!

  Moving on… While Dirty Soap is another notch on Bjorlin’s leather belt… she wasn’t sure if she should join a reality series at first. “It was a scary prospect at first,” she recalls. “Brandon [Beemer; her other half] and I weren’t sure if we should do it. We’ve been very private in the past. We don’t like to talk too much about our lives or relationship. I talk a lot, yes, but I don’t really reveal much about my life.”

  Um, like right now? “How dare you?” laughs Bjorlin.

  But seriously, “it was a huge 180 to do this,” she continues. “And, at least for Brandon and I, all of it is real. I hope people enjoy it.”

  Of course, Nadia’s scene-stealing mom, Fary, is a big hit! How does Nadia feel about her opinionated, knife-wielding Mama stealing the spotlight and becoming a breakout star? Alexis Carrington Colby has nothing on Fary Bjorlin-Branco!

  “That’s just her,” states Bjorlin. “Her ego was fueled by the cameras, for sure. The producers encouraged her to share. The conversation between my mother and I regarding her disapproval of Brandon actually lasted one hour, but they edited it down to minutes. Yes, I defended Brandon ad nauseam, as I always do, but after growing up with my mother, I know she’s stubborn and extremely opinionated. She’s a true Persian woman. Everyone on Twitter who is Persian gets it because his or her mom are the same way. It’s hard to be mad at my mom because I know it all comes from a place of love. She’s very overprotective. She does this to all my siblings. She’s my mom — and she’s just bored, I guess! No one will ever be good enough for her daughter. I’m the fifth child out of six siblings — and she does it to all of us so I’m desensitized to it. But trying to go up against her is a losing battle, let me tell you. I will speak my peace, for sure, but trying to fight her, won’t work. She’ll fight you until she’s blue in the face.”

  How has her life change since Dirty debuted? “Well, people come up to me now and say, ‘I love you, Nadia,’ instead of, ‘I love you, Chloe!’ Also, people are aware that I’m not Chloe and much funnier and smarter — and people know who my mom is! I never got that before….”

  Speaking of Fary, Bjorlin isn’t aware how it’s changed her mom’s life yet. “We haven’t watched the show together,” she relays. “ But she will send me text messages saying, ‘I love you. I’m thinking about you.’ Yep, she feels really bad!”

  And how is our ‘Brandee’ dealing with the spotlight? Has he increased his yoga regimen [inside joke]? “Poor Brandon,” she laughs. “He doesn’t like hearing my mother’s concerns about him. You know this: he’s very sensitive. Yes, it bothers him. I’m not sure if he likes this ‘story’ playing out in front of the world. At the end of the day, Brandon’s tougher than he thinks. Having said that, we’re all taking the experience in stride. This is still really new for us. So far, we think the show is fun and authentic. We don’t know how it’s all going to play out, but speaking for ourselves, our worries about the whole project have been largely unfounded. For us, this show hasn’t been scripted. It’s very uncensored — especially with Farah Fath and JP Lavoisier.”

  Uncensored, just like this e-zine.

 

  “Do you know how difficult it would be if Dirty Soap was scripted? We don’t have the time,” adds Bjorlin. “We memorize enough lines already for our day jobs.”

  Will Dirty Soap lead to future projects for the cast? Personally, I think since this reality series is about a group of actors I don’t think it will affect them negatively. In fact, I think it will be the opposite.

  “That was our main concern because we’re actors — and we’ve all worked so hard to get where we are. We don’t want to be known as a reality-TV stars because we work so hard in the soap medium. But I think you’re right… since this is a show about actors we may escape that stigma.”

  I’m always right, Nad; pay attention, damn it. And how dare you!

  Next week, Uncensored has yet another half-hour with Nadia Bjorlin in all her glory… and more (urine showers not included). Naughtiness included.

  INSIDE SUDS:

  Maria Arena Bell Expose: Will Bill Bell Jr. fire his wife?

  Ratings are sinking. Actors are furious. Stories are fragmented. Fans are demanding that Sony fire Y&R’s show runner Maria Arena Bell. And they’re not the only ones. What the heck is happening over at daytime’s number-one sudser?

  First: the good news is that numerous — and we mean numerous — sources are reporting to Uncensored that controversial executive producer and head writer is finally aware of the increasing dissention on both sides of the small screen. “She’s on the warpath,” states a scared source. “She’s trying to find out who the traders are.”

  Check the embroidered pillows, I suggest!

  After numerous vacations over the summer, and winning her first Daytime Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing, Bell came back to find her once-loyal troops revolting against the cold and unimaginative machine she created and further fostered. Apparently, several actors have complained pe
rsonally to Sony!

  So what’s really happening? Uncensored did some major digging….

  “Sony is letting Maria hang herself slowly,” lends one insider. “They’re definitely compiling a case against her.” But the question is: Will Bill Bell Jr. have the balls to fire his wife for the sake of the future of his father’s legacy?

  Any smart person knows that hiring your wife as your show runner also means (never having to say you’re sorry; but I digress) the possibility of having to fire her one day — why didn’t he realize this before? That is the question.

  Yes, in theory, having a Bell in-law running the William Bell’s classic soap sounds good on paper… and it did for a while… but now things are out of control.

  Meanwhile, the classic sudser is drowning in bad ratings (just like Colleen Carlton) —and critical and fan backlash.

  While I’m was a fan of Bell’s initial Y&R tenure and genuine intentions to get this show back in shape after former cheif Lynn Mare Latham’s short reign of terror, Uncensored finds more than enough cause to fire Bell just for the fact that she didn’t prepare Y&R in time to absorb orphan AMC viewers after the