Soap Opera Uncensored: Issue 33 Read online

memorable episodes from 1980 to 1989. The set is available for $19.95 at www.soapclassics.com. Can we get a Best of a Shirtless Jon Hensley DVD soon?

  THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL, CBS/CTV — Kanan Out!

  • That was fast: I had whiplash when Sean Kanan announced late last week that he is leaving B&B as his character, Deacon, just arrived on-screen! Oh, well. It was nice to see Kanan back. His return provided a lot of organic conflict, especially for my Brooke Forrester, but B&B is overwhelmed with myriad star power these days, so I get it. Next stop: Y&R? I doubt it.

  • Say what you want about the Hope/Liam/Steffy triangle but B&B has done a fantastic job at creating a new legacy equation involving the offspring of its most iconic characters. What I find most fascinating is the fact that Brooke and Taylor are both subconsciously inching towards catharsis by defending their respective daughters’ positions. For example, ironically Hope is more like Taylor in this triangle than Brooke yet Brooke is pushing for Liam to be with Hope, and vice versa. Pretty cool, huh?

  • In story 411, Bill puts his plan in motion while Hope is stunned when she discovers how Liam spent the last hours of his marriage to Steffy (hide the salami?). Liam asks Bill to be his best man. Brooke puts Ridge in a difficult position. Hope shocks Brooke by adding two new guests for her wedding. Marcus is conflicted about telling Hope the truth about Bill and Justin’s plan regarding Deacon.  Deacon warns Stephanie that her meddling has gone too far. Hope and Liam’s wedding is set to take place in Puglia, Italy. But will there be a wedding switch?

  DAYS OF OUR LIVES, NBC/GLOBAL — Is Stefano Really Dead? Hello, Eric Brady!

  • Casting Couch: DAYS is currently recasting Eric Brady, reports this week’s DIGEST. It’s about frackin’ time! Former GH and Y&R pretty face Greg Vaughn has tested for the role opposite Ari Zucker. Melikes. I’m all for Vaughn because he’s a good actor but I’d also go for Josh Kelly.

  •As expected, DAYS has let Emmy winner Ian Buchanan, who joined the show as Madison’s hubby in February, go. Perhaps GH could bring back Buchanan as a Duke ghost to tell Anna that Robin isn’t in heaven. Yes, Greg Beecroft played Duke when the character died but like Cartini said on ONE LIFE, “You get your real face in hell (and heaven).” And what a face.

  • How will Ian be written out? Well, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to predict that the character may be responsible for Stefano’s murder. The only shocking aspect of this murder mystery is that DAYS decided to kill Stefano again! We know Stefano is immortal so why didn’t the soap just shoot him and throw him in a coma instead? Do we really have the patience or interest to watch another contrived DAYS murder mystery? If it’s not real, it doesn’t resonate, peeps! Also, why is it that almost every time there is a backstage writing shake-up it always happens in the middle of a murder mystery? Who knows if the original story will play out as exiting head writers Marlene and Darrel planned it. The only way this story can be saved is if it’s Kristen or Susan who is the culprit! But who takes the blame this week? Will of all people.

  • In story 411, Stefano lies in a pool of blood. The gun that shot Stefano belongs to Abe, but additional fingerprints from John, Marlena, Will, EJ, Bo and Hope are found on it. Sami consoles EJ while Melanie does the same for Chad. Sonny cautions Will. Billie finds out about Carrie’s pregnancy. Rafe tells Carrie that he’s not really the father of Nicole’s baby, regardless of the paternity test. Roman arrests Will. DAYS is pre-empted on Friday due to the French Open Tennis semi-finals.

  GENERAL HOSPITAL, ABC/CITY — General Lockdown!

  • Look who’s headed back to Port Chuck: Kassie DePaiva will reprise ONE LIFE’s Blair on GH this summer for a big storyline. And Trevor St. John will be back in three, two… or so I suspect.

  • It looks like Cartini is shutting down all leaks on the GH set. Good luck with that, boys. One of my soap wives, Finola Hughes, revealed to TULSA WORLD: “We’re on total lockdown; they’re locked tight right now. Frank Valentini has sealed up all the leaks. He wants this for the audience. In the ’80s, that’s what made the show so exciting. You didn’t know what was going to happen next. He wants to make it like that again. All of the actors are so excited about what we’re doing. I honestly don’t know what’s coming up — Frank doesn’t tell us too much in advance.”

  In the interview, she weighs in on the future of soaps: “I have a lot of friends who are writers, and I like to talk to them and find out what they think. Soaps need to make themselves more relevant with the stories they tell and the way they tell them. It has been a mistake to concentrate on the younger audience. You need to please your audience as it is. It’s a mistake to concentrate on only one demographic. Just make a good show, and the rest will follow. Now we have someone at the helm — Frank Valentini — who is very forward- thinking and he understands television.”

  Hughes adds she’s enjoying being paired with Kristina Wagner again. “That’s one thing about soaps: the girlfriends you make. You get to meet these incredible women. Soaps are a real women’s medium; I hope we get to tell women’s stories for years to come.”

  Let’s hope that means no more rapemances.

  • In story 411, Will Heather and Todd switch Téa’s baby with Sam’s?! Sam falls unconscious while Ewen wakes up. Carly agrees to give Johnny another chance, but under one condition. Starr and Michael grow closer. Johnny has nightmares. Sparks fly between Mac and Felicia. Alexis is angered by Jason’s presence. Olivia and Spinelli investigate Heather. Maxie wakes up to find Matt missing. Anna takes the job as the police commissioner while Mac opens up to Felicia.

  • After this week’s big story involving Téa and Victor’s dead baby (and Todd switching Sam’s baby to give to Téa), I’m calling GH, GENERAL OBVIOUS from now on. Hopefully, baby Lord isn’t really dead because that would be a shame. Couldn’t Sam’s baby have died instead with Baby Manning being “lent” out to the hit man instead?

  THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS — Porte Out! Goddard’s Headed Back to The T-Dot!

  • It’s the end of the road for impressive newcomer Peter Porte. The actor has finished taping as Ricky. Too bad, since the improved actor has finally been winning over fans and critics with his surprisingly intense and compelling performance of a man unhinged. Expect a sensational climax and conclusion in Ricky’s storyline that involves Daisy and Phyllis. Leave it to Maria Arena Bell to get rid of an actor who was on the verge of breaking out…

  • Jerry Douglas is back to haunt Jack this summer. Also, look for more Tricia Cast this season, too, thanks to Jeff Branson’s return. Is Chance far behind? No Intel on that business yet.

  • Canadian Cane fans, rejoice: Daniel Goddard will be visiting Toronto on June 22 — a day before the DAYTIME EMMY AWARDS — to promote AquaSwiss watch on The Shopping Channel and BREAKFAST TELEVISION where I’m a producer. Heck, he should just move here! FYI: Goddard is the face of the timeless product. Glad to see the Aussie hunk keeping busy since his storyline on Y&R is lacking. Between his gig as a game show model on PRICE IS RIGHT and AQUASWISS, Goddard isn’t resting on his laurels. Go Beastmaster!

  • Many outlets are reporting that Shictor breaks up this week when Victoria blabs to her father that Sharon bedded his nemesis, Billy, but that’s not true. In fact, this year’s worst love story will continue well into July, perhaps even August. And, yes, as previously reported, Shictor do have sex (although we only see the couple head up to the bedroom).

  • In story 411, Sofia tells Harmony that she and Neil are getting a divorce. Sharon confronts Victoria. Tension between Daisy, Ricky and Phyllis increases. Victoria’s not interested in Nikki engagement to Jack. Heather (now a red-headed Jennifer Landon) returns to town as Michael’s ADA. Phyllis and Tim face off. Teenage Summer and Fen arrive, as does Nick and Phyllis’ wedding day where tragedy strikes.

  FEARLESS PREDICTIONS

  UNCENSORED looks into our crystal balls to forecast the future on and off screen!

  B&B

  • Jessica Leccia is cast as Beverly’s psycho
sister, who turns out to be Dani’s ex-lover.

  DAYS

  • Sami Brady begins sounding a lot like Erica Kane!

  GH

  • Stealing yet another ONE LIFE story, The Tale of Two Carlys begins when Sarah Brown returns to GH after Bobbie reveals she gave birth to twins.

  Y&R

  • After their sex romp, Danny comes out of the closet while on tour. “That’s two men I’ve turned gay,” laments Cricket.

  SOAP OPERA MYSTERY HOUR

  This week’s hottest blind item

  • Which real-life soap couple has broken up? And it’s not pretty.

  THE IDIOT RATINGS: May 21-25

  Winner: B&B close to overtaking Y&R in demos!

  *Courtesy of Soap Opera Network

  (Compared to Last Week/Compared to Last Year)

  Total Viewers

  1. Y&R 4,288,000 (+33,000/-359,000)

  2. B&B 3,078,000 (-4,000/+246,000)

  3. GH 2,368,000 (+29,000/-80,000)

  4. DAYS 2,294,000 (-64,000/-47,000)

  Households

  1. Y&R 3.2/11 (-.1/-.2)

  2. B&B 2.3/8 (-.1/+.2)

  3. GH 1.8/5 (same/-.1)

  4. DAYS 1.7/6 (-.1/same)

  Women 18-49 Viewers

  1. Y&R 822,000 (-5,000/-143,000)

  2. B&B 680,000