Soap Opera Uncensored: Issue 25 Read online

  *Courtesy of Soap Opera Network

  (Compared to Last Week/Compared to Last Year)

  Total Viewers

  1. Y&R 4,124,000 (+59,000/-618,000)

  2. B&B 2,985,000 (+36,000/+76,000)

  3. DAYS 2,299,000 (+47,000/+11,000)

  4. GH 2,255,000 (+8,000/-465,000)

  Households

  1. Y&R 3.1/10 (+.1/-.3)

  2. B&B 2.2/8 (same/+.1)

  3. DAYS 1.7/6 (same/same)

  3. GH 1.7/5 (same/-.3)

  Women 18-49 Viewers

  1. Y&R 865,000 (+23,000/-101,000)

  2. B&B 698,000 (+35,000/+89,000)

  3. GH 570,000 (+34,000/-243,000)

  4. DAYS 490,000 (-6,000/-114,000) > FF

  GENERAL HOSPITAL: Fifty Shades of Black and White!

  • As much as I love ONE LIFE’s Starr Manning, I could care less about the tortured heroine on GH. There, I said it. Kristen Alderson and Chad Duell have no chemistry. Yes, on paper Starr and Michael should work but they don’t. I think it’s time Starr became a bitch again and set her sights on an older man. Unless, of course, executive producer Frank Valentini has the balls to rehire the real Michael Corinthos: Drew Garrett!

  > PLAY — II PAUSE

  THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS: Between Heaven and Hell!

  • As a card-carrying member of the Shadam fan club, I must say I think Adam and Sharon work better apart than together. Having the audience long for Adam and Sharon to reunite is a much better strategy for the show than making the controversial couple happy. Moreover, I think Y&R is wise to pursue a romance between Genoa City’s two biggest schemers, Adam and Chelsea. Actors Michael Muhney and Melissa Claire Egan had instant chemistry, the characters have a lot of the same daddy issues, and the performers are both extremely talented and popular. What’s not to love? Finally, why the hell is the fabulous Marcy Rylan without a storyline of her own? Smarten up, Y&R! Also, I think Y&R was very dumb for not recasting Kyle with B&B’s Zack Conroy, Rylan’s GL sibling. Instead, Y&R cast an actor who looks like he’s in his early 30s and who is sporting Michael Muhney hair. Sorry, but Y&R’s casting director Judy Blye Wilson has lost it since her glory days at AMC.

  Every Week!

  FEARLESS PREDICTIONS

  What Will Happen? Who Will Die? Who Knows?

  UNCENSORED looked into our crystal balls to forecast the future of your favorite stories and characters.

  THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL

  • Marcus is killed when an NAACP sign lands on his ESL-head.

  GENERAL HOSPITAL

  • Sonny finds Victor Lord Jr. alive and uses the information to blackmail Todd.

  • James Franco returns to GH. “Incest is best,” smirks Franco to his brother Jason.

  DAYS OF OUR LIVES

  • Princess Gina ruins Queen Victoria’s Jubilee when she and the Pawn look her in the eye!

  • Celeste predicts DAYS is in danger but no one listens.

  THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS

  • Gen creates a new perfume line for BEAUTY OF NATURE: The Ice Queen.

  SOAP PORN: Next Week's Soapgasms

  Can’t watch all the soaps this week? No worries — here’s a cheat sheet!

  Top Shows to Watch:

  1. GENERAL HOSPITAL

  2. DAYS OF OUR LIVES

  3. THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL

  Top Storylines to Watch:

  1. Devane Intervention, GH

  2. EJ Kisses Sami and Nicole, DAYS

  3. Jack vs. Gen, Y&R

  Top Actresses to Watch:

  1. Finola Hughes, GH

  2. Robin Mattson, GH

  3. Deidre Hall, DAYS

  4. Melissa Claire Egan, Y&R

  5. Melody Thomas Scott, Y&R

 

  Top Actors to Watch:

  1. Michael Muhney, Y&R

  2. Chandler Massey, DAYS

  3. Jason Thompson, GH

  4. Michael Easton, GH

  5. James Scott, DAYS

  Top Duos to Watch:

  1. EJ and Sami, DAYS

  2. Anna and anyone, GH

  3. Chad and Melanie, DAYS

  Top Couples to Fast-Forward Through:

  1. Princes Gina and The Pawn, DAYS

  2. Starr and Michael, GH

  3. Gabi and Chad, DAYS

  Top Dream Couples:

  1. Lexie and Daniel, DAYS

  2. Patrick and Liz, GH

  3. Starr and Johnny, GH

  Top New-ish Duos to Watch:

  1. Anna and John, GH

  2. Chelsea and Adam, Y&R

  3. Nicole and Rafe, DAYS

  Top Tweeters:

  1. Joshua Morrow: @joshuamorrowYR

  2. Kirsten Storms: @tweetysomething

  3. Katherine Kelly Lang: @KatherineLLang

  Top 3 Best Reads/Buys at the Newsstand:

  1. SOAP OPERA DIGEST

  2. SOAP OPERA WEEKLY

  3. ABC/CBS/NBC/FOX/BRAVO/TELEMUNDO SOAPS IN DEPTH

  Top Episodes To Watch:

  1. Tuesday: Will comes out to Sonny on DAYS. “Um, duh,” Sonny says. “Now bend over.”

  2. Friday: John reveals to Marlena he’s been keeping a secret from her: He’s still an ISA agent! “Um, duh,” Marlena says. “Now bend over.”

  3. Thursday: EJ discovers shocking information in Stefano’s confidential files. “OMG, Lisa Rinna was right: Joe Mascolo is really a bad actor!”

  The next issue of SOAP OPERA UNCENSORED will be out on Friday, April 20, 2012!