Soap Opera Uncensored: Issue 15 Read online

the book with my whole DUI incident. Because it was kept from the press, etc, and not because it was kept from the press, it just never came out. My mug shot never came out on TMZ! Out of the whole book, that was the thing I was most worried about from my fans that I got behind the wheel of a car drunk. Something I never, ever will do again. I learned a very valuable, expensive lesson.

  As for Ellen Wheeler, I still gave her props. [Laughs] That was that.

  You were much kinder than I would have been. What did the industry think?

  Well, people said: “Wow, you went after Ellen!” I responded, “I can’t write a memoir called, I’M JUST SAYIN’, and not mention her. Listen, Ellen didn’t change my life, but she was a cosmic plate that shifted my career, for sure.

  You’re not the only one! You had the same co-writer as Susan Lucci’s memoir, but I could hear YOUR voice in your book. Susan’s book? Not so much.

  Well, because I wrote my own book! Laura Morton told me, “This is the easiest co-writing job I’ve ever had.” Usually, she writes the whole book for other celebrities. I sent her pages; she just put them in a topical order. I have to give her props: she would demand I put my stories in context and be specific, especially because I have a tendency to ramble, but the writing was all me.

  I could tell. I heard your voice. In her defense, Susan would’ve benefited had she written her memoir after AMC was canceled. Are you going to add a chapter for the paperback version like La Lucci did?

  No. I addressed ONE LIFE’s cancellation at the last minute in the book. That book, my friend, is done.

  Yep, I agree. Actually, thanks to your memoir, I was also able to put GL behind me. You should’ve put your four Emmys on the cover.

  [Laughs]]

  The book was therapy, right?

  Yes! I would start crying a lot early on. In the beginning, it was tough for me. I’m thinking about writing another book. More about acting. Not a self-help book but something more universal.

  You’re a great writer.

  Thank you. More of an expose about what men and women go through in the acting world. I want it to be funny. That’s what this book was going to be about, but the publishers wanted this book to be more of a GL memoir.

  You’re a show killer damn it! First SANTA BARBARA, GL, and now ONE LIFE!

  Damn you! [Laughs] You are a bastard! Listen, you’ll love this: I ran into David Kreizman recently, and he said, “Wow, ONE LIFE was canceled.” And I said, “Yeah, I’m a show killer.” He said, “ No, you’re not, I am!” [Laughs] He has one more show than me.

  Honey, you are NO show killer. Trust me. You’re not done with soaps, right? Would you join GH or another soap?

  Yes. I am not done acting…. In any genre.

  Whew!

  For more on Zimmer, tune in — or subscribe — to Soap Uncensored next week for what she thinks of Cartini joining GH, an update on our mutual husband, Robert Newman, where Reva is today (that whore!), thoughts on GL’s DVD collection, ONE LIFE’s final episode, and her thoughts on DIRTY SOAP! Also, a new satire soap show starring La Zimmer and moi!

  IDIOT RATINGS: Jan. 16-20

  THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE WATCHED ON ABC

  Everyone knew ABC was making a colossal mistake canceling its number-one rated and critically acclaimed soap, ONE LIFE, in favour of another boring weight-loss show, but no one expected THE REVULSION to shed as many viewers in its first week after its disappointing debut.

  While THE CHEW is holding steady with its decent showing, it’s clear sophisticated ONE LIFE fans were not substituting brilliant television for crap.

  According to Marc Berman, THE REVOLUTION opened with a mere 1.68 million viewers for the week of Jan. 16 according to Nielsen, which is down by of 37 per cent from year-ago occupant ONE LIFE. “Erosion was even worse among target female demos with THE REVOLUTION off from ONE LIFE by 43 per cent in women 25-54 (1.4 rating/8 share to 0.8/ 4), 40 per cent in women 18-49 (1.0/ 6 to 0.6/ 3) and 40 per cent in women 18-34 (0.5/ 3 to 0.3/ 2). Yes, this is worse than THE CHEW’s debut week compared to AMC,” he wrote.

  THE REVOLUTION isn’t the only ABC daytime series tanking after ONE LIFE left the lineup. Turns out GH dropped almost half a million viewers after Llanview’s swan song! Meanwhile, Y&R, B&B and DAYS posted significant gains! Did former Llanview residents check out NBC and CBS instead? It sure looks like they did!

  Here are the deets courtesy of our friends at SOAP OPERA NETWORK:

  Numbers are based on Live+Same Day ratings

  (Compared to Last Week/Compared to Last Year)

  Total Viewers

  1. Y&R 5,061,000 (+274,000/-121,000)

  2. B&B 3,471,000 (+137,000/+281,000)

  3. DAYS 2,528,000 (+104,000/-191,000)

  4. GH 2,209,000 (-348,000/-471,000)

  Households

  1. Y&R 3.7/11 (+.1/+.1)

  2. B&B 2.5/8 (same/+.2)

  3. DAYS 1.9/6 (+.1/-.1)

  4. GH 1.6/4 (-.3/-.4) *new low

  * Previous low: 1.7/5 (Jan. 2-6, 2012)

  Women 18-49 Viewers

  1. Y&R 960,000 (+82,000/-86,000)

  2. B&B 697,000 (+45,000/+97,000)

  3. DAYS 597,000 (+47,000/-180,000)

  4. GH 530,000 (-98,000/-296,000) *new low

  * Previous low: 550,000 (Dec. 26-30, 2011)

  Women 18-49 Rating

  1. Y&R 1.5/9 (+.1/-.1)

  2. B&B 1.1/6 (+.1/+.2)

  3. DAYS 0.9/5 (same/-.3)

  4. GH 0.8/4 (-.2/-.5) *new low