Soap Opera Uncensored: Issue 28 Read online

SOAP OPERA UNCENSORED

  Volume 02, Issue 18 (No. 28)

  BY NELSON BRANCO

  Copyright 2012 Nelson Branco

  INSIDE — Exclusive Interview: Finola Hughes on GH’s Devane Intervention! How She Felt About Losing Tristan Rogers! Being MIA When She Won Her Emmy! Why and When She Signed A GH Contract! Thoughts on Cartini! The HIV-Syringe Debacle! And Our Love Affair Exposed! GH: Nurse’s Ball Returning? Plus: Is Y&R’s Maria Arena Bell in Trouble? Find Out! Y&R: Sharon Pregnant With Victor’s Kid? Inside Crystal Chappell’s Kick-Ass B&B Storyline! Emmys: Best Drama Reel Submissions! Plus: My Daytime Emmy Nominations Predictions! Major ABC Exodus: GH Publicist Out? Last Week's Reviews, Unbelievable Blind Items, and Next Week's Cheat Sheet!

  UNCENSORED MASTHEAD:

  FOUNDER/EDITOR: Nelson Branco

  EDITOR AT LARGE: Denette Wilford

  Follow Soap Opera Uncensored at: @nelliebranco or @SoapUncensored

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  PRE-ORDER BETWEEN HEAVEN & HELL: A ONE LIFE TO LIVE TRIBUTE

  Hi, loyal soaper!

  UNCENSORED QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

  “I’m thrilled to be going on the B&B. I have such great respect for Brad Bell and so love many of the cast. I’m really proud to be a part of the first lesbian story in its 25-year history and Joanna Johnson rocks! So, there ‘ya go! New adventures, new opportunities! Grateful! Come play with me......no, really.....”

  —Crystal Chappell in her VENICE Blog

  Translation: New Adventures of the Old-ish Lesbian!

  “GH is going to be with us as it should be! Couldn’t be more proud of Frank [Valentini] and Ron [Carlivati]. Such a challenging time with soaps, but they are a force. And, yes, two shows pulled at once? Dear God....really? Ratings DO matter. I really urge same day viewing and loads of fan support. If Tony Geary goes off the air, I’m going to get a frown line....no, really....those Botox shots can be painful!”

  —Chappell continues in her blog

  Translation: If this B&B thing doesn’t work out…

  “Finally, Congrats DAYS for [re-]hiring Gary and Chris. Good writers, experienced and yes, you've inherited a big ass cast....too big....but....wow! Massive axings....I might be a little sensitive right now. LOL. I know that everyone is doing the best they can and at the end of the day...it's about numbers. Ratings. I was a victim of being the Satan of low ratings for DAYS summer of 2010... No one person or couple will make or break anymore....STORY! It’s all we have....So, let’s see the story, folks! Because they will replace these shows if the numbers don’t hold or rise....”

  —Chappell adds

  Translation: If this B&B thing doesn’t work out…

  “The crew is so happy. Everybody is so relieved. It is a major victory for a soap to be renewed in 2012.”

  —GH cheerleader Frank Valentini in SOAP OPERA DIGEST

  Translation: Yet, ABC can still cancel us anytime!

  “When I came in, it wasn’t looking very good. Ron and I were able to turn it around. I feel like it’s the same show; it just got a B12 shot.”

  —Valentini in the same interview

  Translation: Instead of another bullet. Just ignore all the statements I made that ABC was committed to GH and wouldn’t cancel it when I took the job because I was shit scared and doubtful, too!

  “I totally remember watching him. Oh, my God. It would be so exciting to work with him. It would truly be a mind trip.”

  —Florencia Lozano about Tony Geary in DIGEST, on her upcoming GH visit

  Translation: Hey, I’ve fallen in love with one rapist already.

  “It feels like there’s a little nucleus of Llanview out here and it makes a big difference.”

  —Lozano continues

  Translation: Trevor St. John get your sexy smirk on this show, STAT!

  AWARDS SHOW CENTRAL

  DRAMA SUBMISSIONS REVEALED!

  May 4 is literally just a few days away and by this time next week, we’ll already know who was nominated for a 39th annual Daytime Emmy Award! UNCENSORED brought you the pre-nomination Emmy reels for the acting categories months ago. But TV GUIDE MAGAZINE got its hands on the Best Drama Series submissions. Here’s Michael Logan’s Report:

  AMC: The show wisely chose its final two hours, a heartfelt homage to new life and fresh beginnings (Stuart is back from the dead! Angie can see! Adam proposes to Brooke!) topped by a champagne toast to Pine Valley by Tad that was sweet, unbearably sad, and utterly perfect. Not everything tied up nicely. Erica postponed her marriage to Jack to pursue her Hollywood dreams and he dumped her, Rhett Butler-style. And JR went on a full-boil alcoholic rampage ("My son's not getting raised by lesbians!") and fired a shot in the final moment of the show as the screen went to black. Did he kill his ex-wife? Her lover? His father? Himself? We were supposed to learn who lived and died when AMC moved to the Internet but, due to the collapse of that dream, we'll never know the outcome. Both wildly frustrating and deeply satisfying, this was a finale for the record books

  Chance of a nomination: Good but, given the stiff competition this year, not a sure thing.

  DAYS: Sorry, not great news here. Episode 1 has John about to go on trial so his adoring friends and family gather at the Brady Pub for one last love-in before they head to the courthouse. It's a low-key hour, with the characters mostly shooting the shit and killing time — nothing at all screams Emmy — until an assassin with hilariously bad aim shoots several rounds into the pub hitting absolutely no one. Sami's tyke, Johnny, disappears during the gunfire and that sets up episode 2 (presumably the real Emmy bait) where Sami and Johnny's dad EJ, whom Sami hates, suddenly have hot, thrusting, head-banging grief sex because they think Johnny's dead. Huh? This never made a lick o' sense, but it was a deliciously trashy event — witnessed by Sami's son Will — that kept the soap on fire for months. Trophy worthy? No way.

  Chance of a nomination: Days will have to sit it out until next year. Will's coming-out story has Emmy written all over it.

  GH: Two absolutely splendid submissions. In the first, Carly and Jax find out their infant, Josslyn, has a rare form of cancer and is in dire need of new kidneys. At the very same time, little Jake is put on life support after being run over by his grandfather, Luke. Carly must go to the child's grieving birth dad, Jason (a remarkably moving Steve Burton), and ask him for the organs. Episode 2 has several characters — Tracy, Lucky, Carly, Ethan, Sonny, Nikolas — holding Luke hostage and staging an intervention. Stubbornly insisting he's not an alcoholic, Luke takes full responsibility for Jake's death but refuses to blame it away on liquor. Tony Geary's performance is raw, ballsy and profound and the rest of the cast isn't far behind. Oh, and say what you will about head writer Bob Guza, who was much maligned by fans and is no longer with the show. He did a splendid job here.

  Chance of a nomination: This is the one to beat.

  ONE LIFE: The show did a curious (and probably savvy) thing by asking the judges to view its two submissions out of sequence. First up is the hour from last December where everyone in Llanview (even badass Clint) is suddenly nuts about the TV soap FRATERNITY ROW, an outta-nowhere twist that gave ONE LIFE a chance to lovingly spoof our obsession with soaps and skewer the foolish suits at ABC for destroying them. Riddled with every cliché in the suds 101 handbook — "Happy is boring!" gripes Roxy in defense of FRAT ROW’s over-the-top dramatics — it's a delightful bit of satire likely to score with any judge who ever toiled in daytime drama. The show
's second submission was the Valentine's 2011 show that exploded with shocking reveals — Jess slept with Ford! Brody is the father of Natalie's baby! Charlie isn't Rex's father, Clint is! In fact, there were so many feverish developments it's laughable, but this was damn fine overkill. Plus, the opportunity to honour this wrongly cancelled soap may be impossible to resist.

  Chance of a nomination: Excellent. This was stellar work done during extremely trying times. The work of champs.

  B&B: A bizarrely mixed bag of sexist cheese and social consciousness that may work out to the soap's benefit. The first two episodes find rivals Hope and