Soap Opera Uncensored: Issue 34 Page 4

Luke that she loves him and they also share a kiss. Luke and Anna come to a conclusion about their relationship.

  HOLLYWOOD HEIGHTS — Fronkey Heights!

  • Former GH honcho Jill Farren Phelps offered a sneak preview to DIGEST this week on her new telenovela, HOLLYWOOD HEIGHTS written by my pal, Josh Griffith. I couldn’t help but laugh when she described HEIGHTS as “a scripted television that lasts for four months and doesn’t ask people to make a long commitment to a story.” Like she did on GH? She goes on to say that the main difference between her soap work and HH is that the telenovela is designed to look like prime time. Huh? What were the myriad shoot-‘em-ups, car crashes, circuses, and explosions we’ve had to endure on GH and won her Emmys?

  As for her friendship with James “I’ll Star On Anything” Franco, Phelps said, “It was an easy yes [for him to agree to appear on the show as Oz]. He’s been a very good friend to me and he really likes this genre. I just love him.”

  Considering the craptastic storyline Phelps allowed Franco to play on GH, I’d hate to see what she does to her enemies.

  Oh, wait: I know… I’ll call Stuart Damon, Alice Barrett, and all the other veteran actors she fired to find out.

  JFP must give one hell of a blowjob.

  ONE LIFE TO LIVE — Light: A Common Hooker… And Tony Winner!

  • Judith Light couldn’t reprise her return as Karen Wolek, a role she won two Daytime Emmy Awards for, last year because of her demanding schedule in the play, OTHER DESERT CITIES, her manager told UNCENSORED. I guess the Llanview sacrifice was worth it because this past weekend Light won her first Tony Award as Best Featured Actress in a Play! Congrats! Next stop? Oscar and Grammy! Sadly, Ron Raines lost for his remarkable turn in FOLLIES, but his Tony Award nomination is a win in itself.

  THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS — Shackinator Landing?

  • Poor Gloria! Just when she got her transient hubby back, Jeffrey, rumours are swirling that Ted Shackelford may be joining the DALLAS reboot on TNT. Joan Van Ark, who ironically originated the breakout role of Gloria, told a website recently: “I’m having lunch with Ted tomorrow. They asked him to come down and be part of it. It was several months ago, and he’s deeply into filming Y&R, the daytime soap for CBS. But if they asked Gary, maybe they’ll ask [for Val].”

  DALLAS premieres June 13 at 9 p.m. ET on TNT and Bravo in Canada. Look for an upcoming interview with Jesse Metcalfe in UNCENSORED soon! The series is awesome, BTW.

  • Could an ill-received actress be on her way out? It sure looks that way. More soon.

  • It’s another P&G reunion on Y&R (like those ever work out): With Jennifer Landon as Heather, Jeff Branson tells DIGEST he thinks it’s a natural fit that Ronan and Heather rekindle their flirtation. “I’ve shared scenes with Jennifer,” he says. “I’m a big fan of her work. I think this will bring another dimension to her character.” I’ll be the judge of that.

  • Well wishes are in order for cutie patootie Max Page, who appears on a recurring basis as Victoria's son, Reed Hellstrom. The tyke is scheduled for heart surgery on June 14 to fix a congenital heart defect. Get well, buddy. And may the force be with you. FYI: Page starred in the uber popular STAR WARS-themed Super Bowl Volkswagen commercial!

  • Here’s an interesting way to bring back the incomparable Stacy Haiduk as Emily. IN DEPTH asks Doug Davidson if he’d consider a Paul-Emily romance considering Emily doesn’t have Patty’s face. “Patty actually looks like Emily, not the other way around,” he points out. “Patty does not have the face that Paul knew while they were children.”

  • In story 411, Michael is happy to have Fen home. Avery has an awkward run-in with Heather and Ricky. Phyllis and Nick have a quick wedding. Daniel refuses to believe Daisy. Chloe gets in the middle of Kevin’s dealings with Genevieve. Ashley is upset with Abby’s decision. Paul is worried that Ricky may harm Heather. Nikki and Sharon’s fight lands them in jail.

  COVER STORY

  FEARLESS SUMMER PREDICTIONS!

  THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL —

  • B&B overtakes Y&R in the ratings.

  • Karen and Dani become engaged; Bill vows to break up this wedding, too!

  • Ridge’s new scarf line is a hit.

  • RJ is SORAS’d and he comes out of the closet to Eric’s amazement: “Finally, a gay designer in our family; we’re going to be rich!” However, Stephanie rains on his gay parade by reminding her hubby, “RJ is a Marone—and a son-of-a-slut-from-the-Valley.”

  • Speaking of Marone, Guess who returns to town: Massimo!

  • Spencer Publications purchases a soap opera magazine. They lose a fortune.

  • Someone teaches Bill how to dress.

  • Brooke visits her father, Stephen, in Dallas – and ends up in bed with John Ross Ewing.

  • Dani breaks up with Karen when she tells her she hates VENICE!

  • Turns out Phoebe isn’t dead when Nadia Bjorlin takes on the role!

  • Amber finally grows up.

  • Kim Zimmer joins the cast as Deacon’s stripper Mama.

   

  THE DAYTIME EMMY AWARDS —

  • Twins AJ Hammer and Cameron Mathison host the ceremony.

  • The kudofest is interrupted several times by Wolf Blitzer with breaking news surrounding a light snowstorm in the Antarctic.

  • Florencia Lozano wins Best Actress. Oh, wait...

  • Brian Frons falls through the Beverly Hilton Hotel catwalk and holds Susan Lucci hostage for a soap role on Y&R.

  • Ronn Moss wears a very colourful scarf to the ceremony.

  • The ONE LIFE and AMC tributes are held in a back alley on the corner of Nowhere and Vine.

  • Guests are dumbfounded when the In Memoriam segment pays tributes to the music legends we’ve lost this past year.

  • Katie Couric presents Best Dramatic Series. Erika Slezak punches the bitch out.

  • Laura Wright is spotted making out with Mario Batali.

  • Tim Gunn asks Jacob Young for cross-dressing tips. 

  • Portia De Rossi flips when Ellen and Joanna Johnson canoodle backstage.

  DAYS OF OUR LIVES —

  • Eileen Davidson returns as Kristen and Susan! Turns out Susan shot Stefano.

  • Stefano returns from the dead… again.

  • Kayla falls in love with Abe.

  • Gabi successfully breaks up Chad and Melanie. Melanie leaves town to visit her mom, Carly. Daniel follows.

  • By the end of the summer, DAYS hires a new head-writing team.

  • Peter Reckell leaves; Robert Kelker Kelly steps in again.

  • So obsessed with Chad, Gabbi accidentally boils Molly Burnett.

  • Hope Brady quits the police force and opens up a cupcake factory.

  • Chloe returns to help heal Brady’s broken heart.

  • Alice’s ghost returns to tell Salem they’ve been canceled.

  • Will opens up a Salem bathhouse with Sonny. Their first customer? Wesley Eure (ex-Mike Horton).

  • Austin dies in a hair waxing incident gone wrong.

   

  GENERAL HOSPITAL —

  • Kirsten Storms returns to reclaim the role of Maxie. However, Jenn Lilley stays on but as Maxie's twin.

  • Turns out Baby Manning is alive… and Irene has him!

  • Heather begins calling Alexis, “Julia Capwell.”

  • Kristina changes the title of her reality TV show from MOB PRINCESS to MOB SLUTINA. Brian Frons is hired as its executive producer.

  • Jack Wagner comes back to welcome his new daughter. Turns out Frisco has a new reality TV show, SPYING WITH THE STARS.

  • Scott DeFreitas is recast as Lucky Spencer.

  • Turns out Snooki is given Baby Manning after Irene figures, "I hate children."

  • Sick of Jasus, John pops out his never-seen-before fangs and bites him. Sam is immediately turned on.

  • David Hayward hits town and gives Luke a worthy romantic rival.

  • Di
ane Miller worries friends when she tries cases at night, looks much paler and orders a lot of Bloody Marys.

  THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS —

  • Billy Miller leaves the show. Villy fans go cray-cray and kidnap him.

  • Cricket sets her sights on Nick to get back at Phyllis.

  • Michelle Stafford is arrested for raping the entire LA Kings’ hockey team.

  • The new Y&R opening fails to impress anyone.

  • Maria Arena Bell accidentally casts herself in a throwaway role.

  • Sofia does everyone a favour and commits suicide.

  • Brenda Epperson convinces Bell to recast her as Ashley! D’oh!

  • Adam Newman grows a mustache… but it’s not on his face.

  • Bell hires her hero, Agnes Nixon, as a writers’ assistant.

  • Sharon is thrilled when she’s able to make fire hydrants disappear in a single squat.

  • Genie Francis complains in the press she’s pissed that Eric Braeden gets more screen time than she does.

  • Y&R gains back its million viewers when its hairstylist George Guzman and Nelson Branco tie the knot.

  • Cane starts sporting Aqua Swiss watches — and finds a lucrative career as a PRICE IS RIGHT model.

  • Paul’s hair piece accidentally falls off when he’s emoting.

  SOAP OPERA MYSTERY HOUR

  This week’s hottest blind item

  • Which hunk won’t return the phone calls of a former co-star and supposed friend because she’s not on the show anymore?

  THE IDIOT RATINGS: May 21-25

  Loser: On June 1, Y&R dips below 4 million viewers! Ouch!

  Winner: Good Week For DAYS!

  *Courtesy of Soap Opera Network

  (Compared to Last Week/Compared to Last Year)

  Total Viewers

  1. Y&R